On Friday October 16th the topic on my radio show was – What are some ways to revive a relationship sexually, thanks to Dr. Ram for sending in his expert advice listed below:
Our brains are complex and is the largest sexual organ we have in our body despite the obvious. The problem is it doesn’t always work in our best interests. For example, did you know that our perception of pleasure changes as we become used to something? Research shows that we get a healthy shot of dopamine (the feel-good hormone) when we are seeking reward, and when there is something new to experience, hence why we say let’s keep it fresh and interesting when it comes to your sex life.
With that said, lets look at tips for reviving intimacy and sex in your relationship
- First if you conflict in your relationship make a pack to deal with, or put aside resentments, and if you don’t know how to seek help to do that. Anger and unresolved issues will play out in the bedroom. Which will lead to no play at all!
- Reconnect! To reestablish the connection that drew you together – for example start to look into each other’s eyes whenever you are talking to each other. If you can eye-gaze fully clothed, oxytocin (the bonding hormone) increases, and the desire to get close will increases. You start to mirror each other its common in the brain to drift that way if one person starts to initiate eye-gazing, the other will often follow.
- Increase touch. Once a pattern of increased connection is established, then increased touch can start. This includes hand rubs, feet rub, neck rubs, and back rubs. This can lead to a full body massage which is a wonderful way to get the body ready for sex (massage decreases the stress hormones, and increases the bonding hormones in the brain)
- Extend the tease. Our brains experience so much more pleasure when the anticipation of a reward is allowed for some time before we get the reward. So take your time enjoy the moment. Foreplay is the ultimate way to enhance sexually gratification.
- Try something new, take out of the bedroom. Remember a particularly hot night you might have spent together, or a particularly exciting location you were in. Do it in a different place, rent a get away place, find romance again.
- Share and expand your fantasies. Tell your partner what you like by saying, “I’ve always wanted to try xyz … want to try it with me?” Treat it as an experiment. Invite your partner to share their fantasies. Be willing to share yours honestly and openly.
- Utilize technology to build anticipation. Saucy texts can be one way. For example, “Guess what I want to do tonight ;)” Be smart I would not be sending revealing pictures over your phone so use your discretion with this one.
- Get rid of some chores and get back in the mood. You can often get caught up in the day-to-day chores and responsibilities of life, especially if children are involved. In order to reconnect with yourself and your partner, free yourself of some of those responsibilities. Find ways to free up time in your everyday life to enjoy each other.
- Bring sexy back! Forget about the few extra pounds you’ve may have gained bring back your sexy self! Ladies, take the time to find the right clothing or lingerie to highlight your body’s best features. Spend a little time on your hair, and get a mani/pedi. Guys, wear her favorite cologne and get a fresh haircut, wear her favorite shirt or tight pants and shake it for her. You will be truly surprise what a little effort can do for your sex life!
Enjoy!
No Comments